Shifting Gears

"Sometimes you eat the bear, sometimes the bear eats you" 

                                   Preacher Roe, Brooklyn Dodgers

Clinical trials seem to be a finicky process.  All year you’ve been reading about how my tumors shrunk slightly with my CT scans every two months.  However, recently there has been slight growth in each scan.  On our last visit the tumors grew again and Dr. Yap told us there is no use continuing this trial, it’s time to look for something new.  

For those of you keeping score at home, that’s the second time we’ve been moved out of a trial because of growth.  As a matter of fact, the first time was almost exactly one year ago, December of 2022.  The doctor told us he considers my time in this recent trial to be a success.  That might seem counter intuitive at first considering this news, but when we really think about it, we’ve had an amazing year on this medicine.  For the most part the monthly treatment was harmless, there were no real side effects, and we led a pretty normal life.  We even got to return to Alaska for the warm months!

I asked the doctor, “how can I do so well for 10 months and then suddenly have the tumors start to grow again?”  He explained that often when you first attack cancer with a new medicine or procedure the early success comes from killing off the weak cancer cells.  Meanwhile the warrior cells begin to develop a resistance to the treatment and are able to retake control.  

In true MDAnderson fashion, the medical team went right to work on finding the next chapter for us.  This week Dr. Yap brought my case to the clinical team of doctors to brainstorm the treatment that will be right for me.  Some of you might recall earlier this summer (when things were going great) I was approached by nurses from two other clinical trials about being “pre-screened” for their trial.  At the time I likened it to cheating on my girlfriend.  Why would I want to test for another trial when mine was going so good?  Well, saying yes back then may turn out to be the smartest thing I did this year.  We are hoping to hear that one of those trials has room for me.  If so, it will save weeks of genetics testing and perhaps we can get right back to work killing cancer!  My preference is to continue with the advanced Targeted Therapies that involve using my DNA to create a genetic pathway directly to the tumors…and kill them.  

Faith and Hope

People often notice that Diane and I have really good attitudes about this cancer journey.  If you’re wondering, it’s because we have faith and hope in God.  He reveals himself to us in one way or another every day.  Here’s an example:  Last Wednesday we had an early appointment at the hospital and then the meeting to discuss the scan so we didn’t have time to read our daily devotion.  We finally made time after scurrying around the hospital, checking out of the hotel, catching our Ground Angel ride to the airport and then waiting for our flight back to Phoenix.  We really hadn’t had time to process the news of being dropped from the trial.  Sitting in the departure lounge we opened Our Daily Bread and the title of that day’s devotion was “Overcoming Trials”. Coincidence?  I think not.

          “Trials and tribulations come to test your faith and to produce in you the quality of endurance”

                             James 1:6-8. (Excerpted from J.B. Phillips version of the New Testament)

A few days after we got home from Houston, we had an appointment in Phoenix to meet a new Primary Care Provider.  I brought a copy of some bloodwork and a copy of my recent scan for her to keep in my records.  When she walked in the room for the first time to meet us she said she didn’t feel good and was wearing a mask.  The first comment she made was, “I just read your scan and I’m devastated for you.”  I thought she might start cryin.  I stopped her immediately and told her, “we aren’t using that word, we are disappointed, not devastated!”  

For you prayer warriors who are supporting us on this journey, please don’t feel devastated.  Feel excited!  A year ago when we were dropped from the first trial we moved to a trial that was way better.  We are very grateful for the trial that just ended and are looking forward to the next treatment that promises to be even better!  Gratitude reminds us that He is the source of every “good and perfect gift.”

Looking Forward

Here’s a question for you:  What do the following pictures have in common?

The answer?  All three represent long term thinking.  Diane and I prefer to look forward, not forlorn.  Future long term plans are better than short term misery.  It’s part of our Hope.

The first picture is of a visit from long time Alaskan friends Skip and Cheryl.  We had a great week in the desert with a side trip down to Tucson.

The second picture is of my new softball glove.  Non baseball players might wonder how that represents long term thinking.  Well, I’ve played baseball/softball for 60 straight years and this is the fourth glove I’ve ever owned.  Baseball gloves are meant to last a lifetime and I am planning many more years of play. 

Finally, we recently received our renewed passports that are good for 10 years.  Now, we just have to figure out someplace to go!

So, what’s next?  We are anxiously awaiting a call or message from a Trial Coordinator giving us good news about the latest effort to defeat cancer.  We will be looking forward to what they’ve chosen that best fits our circumstances.  I did get one call today from a promising Targeted Therapy trial nurse seeking permission to pre-screen me.  This is unlikely to be my next trial as it takes weeks for approval.  But, it’s good to know they are…looking forward!

Of course, the next step we request from you is your continued prayers and support as we navigate this new normal.  Thanks so much for helping us to Beat the Odds!

And, of course, a very Merry Christmas to you and your families from Diane and I.